Take Me Back to the War
by Stillinthedream
Summary: Rosa Grace Miller, an agent for the SSR, goes through one of fates worst trials; waking up in a future she thought to be worse than the previous life she left. A life where she left James Buchanan Barnes behind. /Mentions Steggy/ Follows Captain America: The First Avenger and later on/


Prologue

She lay in the hospital, waiting for the infection to spread through her veins, taking over her body, her mind, her very own soul. It had resisted every antibiotic given by the doctors, it had resisted old fashioned remedies, not even prayer had helped her gain any strength, mental or otherwise. She coughed violently, hacking up blood and phlegm. By god did her throat hurt, did her lungs ache to breathe, her body burn. She knew that her time was up, her God no longer willed her to stay another day on this earth.

At times, when the doctors did not gather around her; observing her as though she were an experimental rat, she'd hallucinate. She once thought she saw her love, smiling down at her, caressing her cheek, promising they'd go out to dance with one another again.

She responded throatily; "Soon I will be there with you, my love."

A tear escaped, her eyes glazing over in morbid thought; she would wait to pass and she would soon see him again. To hold her love in her arms and never let go. She had made that mistake the first time. When she saw him again, she would never leave his side.

"…Sa…Rosa…" Someone whispered to her, holding her clammy hands, caressing her palm to comfort her.

"Peggy," She rasped, her throat raw, "I feel awful, I'm afraid there's no fight left in me."

"Rosa, it's okay, Howard-he found something that can help you, maybe, but I wanted to make sure you were okay with this." Peggy tightened her hold.

"What could he do that the doctors can't? Build me a robotic body? Place my consciousness in a computer? I'd rather stay in my flawless figure, even if I do look monstrous." Rosa smiled wearily. Her humour tried to replace the current tension in the air- although it seemed as it had done the opposite. Peggy never looked so distraught, not since Steve's passing, and it broke Rosa's heart to know she was the one causing her pain.

Peggy's smiled was strained, "I think it would kill Howard to replace your body, he'd cry over it for days."

"Better get used it. You are going to be there right?" Peggy gave a confused look.

"For what?"

"For my funeral, of course. I can't be the only good-looking woman there." She smiled cheekily, and noticed Peggy's expression darken.

"Even on your bloody death bed, you're still making jokes. Do you ever take anything seriously?"

"I used to be serious until I meet someone. Then I knew how to have fun." Peggy's dark expression softened in sympathy.

"He was a bad influence, I can tell you that. His morbid sense of humour had rubbed off on you." She tutted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, and you seemed to had gathered some traits from Steve, too."

They both felt a sharp pain their chest, their losses still raw from the war. They contemplated their pasts in silence, each second spent remembering the moments further reinforced the painful reality that they would never see the two men again.

"I still really can't believe we fell for them. Well, you and Steve I can understand, since you both were rather compatible, and must I say, the serum certainly was an improvement. I suppose I really can't believe I fell for James- I found his charms rather repulsive at first." She chuckled breathily, and forced herself to sit up to face Peggy.

"I for one can believe it, whole-heartedly." Rosa gave Peggy a confused look.

"Oh, don't act oblivious, the first time you met the Sergeant I couldn't believe how flustered you were. I _painfully_ watched you stutter and blush when he introduced himself to you. You didn't manage to get one coherent sentence out." Peggy mouth twitched.

"Yes, but then I avoided him because I was repulsed-"

"Not repulsed, but rather embarrassed that you would lose your brain every time he would approach you. It didn't work out for you very well, did it?"

"No, I managed to lose my brain, and marry the one I lost my brain to." Rosa smiled, albeit sadly. Her lips trembled slightly, her eyes frosted over as she felt a harrowing pain in her chest. All the promises made between the two would never be fulfilled.

Peggy put her hand on top of Rosa's, mirroring her expression, "I suppose I wasn't thinking straight too. Although, if it wasn't for Steve, I wouldn't be where I am now, saving the world a little bit at a time. It is to my regret that I waited too long – and that he couldn't keep his promise."

Rosa nodded, "Nor did James. He promised that we…that we would live together, raise five children, and die of old age. Not of any war, not of any illness, not of any injury. He promised a lot of things but he- well, he won't ever be able to fulfil any of them."

"Rosa, I know your Sergeant well enough to know he would want you live on and keep doing what you are doing. I understand your pain, I do. That's why I know he would want you to keep fighting for yourself, for him." She wiped a stray tear off Rosa's face.

Peggy cupped Rosa's face gently, "Howard wanted to use the Erkinsine's serum to help fight off the infection…he says that since Steve was practically immune to any illness, it may have the ability to help you get better."

"But I thought all the research was destroyed? There wasn't a single vial left of the serum. Did Howard manage to recreate it?" Peggy shook her head.

"No, we don't have the serum itself, but there is still a vial of blood left that contains the serum." Rosa's eyes widened.

"That's Steve's blood, isn't it?" Peggy said nothing. The silence was enough to confirm her question.

"Peggy -I, no, that's the only thing left of him, I can't take that away from you…" Rosa refused.

"I would rather it be used on you, than dumped in a river." Peggy sniffed slightly, feeling emotional. "I cannot lose another person I care about so soon. You are meant for greater things Rosa. Things beyond my capability, beyond anyone else's that I have known. You are not meant to die of an infection, just because the bullet you took for me made you ill. You're bloody well meant for a grand death, being so dramatic, and all. I will not allow you to die in such an insignificant manner."

"Peg, it's honestly amazing how you know me so well. I should've died taking the bullet for you, huh?"

"How about you recover and I won't have to deal with the extremely bizarre requests you've asked me to perform at your funeral…Seriously, you want me to hire an actor to play a hydra agent and let me play you punching him?" She picked up Rosa's funeral list.

"Well since you are supposed to act out my life and that seemed like a perfectly reasonable re-enactment."

"Is there an explanation as to why you also want Colonel Phillips to dress in your mother's gown?"

"He always did suit the colour brown."

"You're unbelievable."

"And you have no taste for art."

"Didn't you say ten minutes ago that you had no will to live?"

As if on cue, Rosa began to cough violently, blood staining the bedsheets. Peggy rubbed Rosa's back soothingly, trying to alleviate some of the pain in her body.

"Please Rosa, it's the only hope we have. Please say yes."

Peggy rarely showed vulnerability, even to those close to her. She always managed a brave face, even when situations were dire. She had mastered the art of facing men and becoming one of the best damn soldiers Rosa ever knew. She was someone to aspire to, someone to care for and someone that she didn't want to leave behind, not without a fight. And when Rosa saw just how vulnerable Peggy was watching her friend suffer, her heart broke. How could she leave behind the one woman whom she loved as a sister?

Rosa eventually calmed from her coughing fit, and steadied her breath.

"Alright Peggy, when do we start?" Relief spread through Peggy's features.

"Tonight, Howard will come by. We need to ensure that the government doesn't catch wind of this, or that any doctors or nurses know of this procedure occurring. It may arouse suspicion."

* * *

Howard and Peggy arrived with a briefcase, which Rosa presumed held the vial of Steve's blood, and equipment being used to inject it into her. The hospital's suspicion may arise if they were to find missing equipment, so they couldn't use any of the facilities' supplies. As Howard prepped Rosa for the procedure, he began listing off the symptoms and side effects she could experience while having the serum in her system.

"First of all, it's lucky that you actually have the same blood type as Steve, so there won't be any problem with your body producing antibodies to fight off the transfusion. Second of all, the amount of serum should help heal the infection, but won't give you the same healing factors or metabolism as the super solider. If my calculations are correct, you might metabolize a fraction faster than the average human, you also may have a higher body temperature. Of course, if your body rejects the serum itself, you may die." She gave Howard a wry smile.

"Well, I already sent my will off, just load me up Doc." Howard chuckled mirthfully.

"You know, you always had a better sense of humour than Peg does."

"On the contrary Howard, Rosa and yourself have a very twisted sense of humour. Not many people would understand half the things you find amusing." Peggy interjected, mildly amused.

"That's true, we're better than half those people, right Howard?" Howard hummed in affirmation.

"Then let's get started, shall we?" Howard said as he drained the blood from the vial and filled the needle, ensuring there was no air bubbles. Rosa began to feel nervous, she may have played off the concept of death, but now that she was staring it in the face she didn't know what to expect.

"Howard, Peggy…I want you to know, that if I don't make it, it has been an honour working with you." Rosa stared straight at them, feeling content that she may die surrounded by the people she loved, and not just on a random battlefield.

"Howard, I will miss our banter and your humour, it has been a joyride for us both, although I wish you never said them, I may miss your crass comments about my physique and my face. But one day I know you'll find a woman so charming, you'll be knocked off your feet. And for god's sake, do not scare her away just because you can't keep it in your pants." Rosa smirked cheekily, and winked.

Howard responded with the same gesture and laughed, "I love you too, Rosa."

Rosa turned her head to Peggy, "My dear sister, Peggy. I want you to know you have been my role model the first day we've met. I can never live up to your skill, and will always stand in your shadow. I want to let you know that I would take a bullet for you over and over again if that meant that you could live even a day more. I love you both so much." Rosa closed her eyes, tears pouring down her face.

"I will do the same for you Rosa, I'll never forgive you if you die today." Peggy's voice was tight, she, as always, was trying to stay strong for Rosa.

"Alright Rosa, this may be really painful for you, so I need you to relax and count back from three." Rosa breathed shakily, whispering the numbers as she felt a sharp jab.

From feeling a mild discomfort in her arm, along with the pains from the infection, there was a deep burning sensation spreading through her veins, growing hotter and hotter. The heat consumed her like molten lava, it was as though she was melting from the inside, her organs mixing with another, her heart beating rapidly, the pupils in her eyes dilating. She started to groan in pain, thrashing against the restraints and biting down hard on the plastic mouth guard. She felt as though her body was ripped apart and put back together again.

"You can do it champ…" Howard muttered, but he just seemed so far away now.

Rosa's eyelids fluttered, and just when she felt a hand upon her forehead, she felt an extraordinary lapse of pain, vision blurring and her head spinning. Her body could no longer tolerate the pain and she had lost consciousness.

Rosa could only hope that she had enough strength to wake up.


End file.
